There are certain things over which human beings simply have no control. Taxes, death, weather and of course the insatiable need for publicity possessed by Britney Spears, O.J., that little Lohan girl and of course Sheriff Joe “Ar-Pie-Hole” (Arpaio) of Phoenix. You know, Phoenix. In Arizona! Ar-Pie-Hole you ask? Yes. Pie-hole. Meaning all consuming, tremendously large, always agape and moving mouthpiece. Yes, that Ar-Pie-Hole.
Let's just look at Joe for a minute. The other three attention freaks we mentioned are in trouble enough for now. So, why would a man devote his life to law enforcement, work in dangerous foreign assignments with the U.S. government to do his duty for America, retire safely, voluntarily then undertake the physical and mental stress of public office and then . . . in the sunset years of his life constantly go out of his way to make a complete ass of himself?
Even if you are not lucky enough to live in Arizona, surely you have heard of this guy. His jail laundry once mixed whites and colors and he rebounded to brag that he intentionally issues pink underwear to inmates. He also houses inmates in a fenced field with tents where drugs are constantly smuggled over and through the security fences. He claims to be tough on crime; but he is nothing more than the elected landlord of prisoners that were actually caught and arrested by real cops and real deputies working on the “mean streets”, not behind a desk (or TV camera).
Joe is one of the busiest people to belong to the AARP. He has single-handedly taken it upon his shoulders to stop the onslaught of illegal aliens into the United States over the Arizona-Mexico border. He is also a one man task force protecting animals from cruelty and human error.
Joe is always thinking (about attention)!! He sees an opportunity where the common man would only see his duty. He uses the housing of criminals who are pending trial or transfer to prison as political fodder, sends law enforcement resources into the jurisdiction of others to round up Mexican farmers looking for a landscaping job, and personally orders the arrest of career police officers with spotless records because of human error!! But while Joe is busy controlling that pesky thing known as reality (as to his legacy), who protects the homes, streets and property of the unfortunate residents of unincorporated Maricopa County Arizona?
The correct answer for full credit is "a handful of under paid and overworked deputy sheriffs who quietly go about their business covering an enormous geographic area with insufficient resources and sparse back up when needed". They are not part of the “Joe Show”. No, they are just the real police that the public actually counts on to come when they call 911. Actually doing the job of a real cop? That’s too mundane for Joe.
If you live in the Phoenix area, and you follow the "Joe Show", can you ever recall Joe using one of his "I'm really mad now" tantrums, and going to the mattresses to try and get raises for his rank and file deputy sheriffs or the men and women who have to manage the pink clad inmates? Never you say? I think you are right.
Ever wondered how many millions of dollars the tax payers of Maricopa County, or its insurance companies have paid out for Joe? Yes, paid out to a plethora of victorious plaintiffs after filing wrongful death or injury suits against Joe for his lack of any security plan to cover those inside his jails and tents! You may not like criminals but it ain't OK to let them get beaten to death or die of illness and cover it up by saying you're "tough on crime". Tough on crime? So is a Taser, but I won't vote for one for sheriff.
Let's just look at Joe for a minute. The other three attention freaks we mentioned are in trouble enough for now. So, why would a man devote his life to law enforcement, work in dangerous foreign assignments with the U.S. government to do his duty for America, retire safely, voluntarily then undertake the physical and mental stress of public office and then . . . in the sunset years of his life constantly go out of his way to make a complete ass of himself?
Even if you are not lucky enough to live in Arizona, surely you have heard of this guy. His jail laundry once mixed whites and colors and he rebounded to brag that he intentionally issues pink underwear to inmates. He also houses inmates in a fenced field with tents where drugs are constantly smuggled over and through the security fences. He claims to be tough on crime; but he is nothing more than the elected landlord of prisoners that were actually caught and arrested by real cops and real deputies working on the “mean streets”, not behind a desk (or TV camera).
Joe is one of the busiest people to belong to the AARP. He has single-handedly taken it upon his shoulders to stop the onslaught of illegal aliens into the United States over the Arizona-Mexico border. He is also a one man task force protecting animals from cruelty and human error.
Joe is always thinking (about attention)!! He sees an opportunity where the common man would only see his duty. He uses the housing of criminals who are pending trial or transfer to prison as political fodder, sends law enforcement resources into the jurisdiction of others to round up Mexican farmers looking for a landscaping job, and personally orders the arrest of career police officers with spotless records because of human error!! But while Joe is busy controlling that pesky thing known as reality (as to his legacy), who protects the homes, streets and property of the unfortunate residents of unincorporated Maricopa County Arizona?
The correct answer for full credit is "a handful of under paid and overworked deputy sheriffs who quietly go about their business covering an enormous geographic area with insufficient resources and sparse back up when needed". They are not part of the “Joe Show”. No, they are just the real police that the public actually counts on to come when they call 911. Actually doing the job of a real cop? That’s too mundane for Joe.
If you live in the Phoenix area, and you follow the "Joe Show", can you ever recall Joe using one of his "I'm really mad now" tantrums, and going to the mattresses to try and get raises for his rank and file deputy sheriffs or the men and women who have to manage the pink clad inmates? Never you say? I think you are right.
Ever wondered how many millions of dollars the tax payers of Maricopa County, or its insurance companies have paid out for Joe? Yes, paid out to a plethora of victorious plaintiffs after filing wrongful death or injury suits against Joe for his lack of any security plan to cover those inside his jails and tents! You may not like criminals but it ain't OK to let them get beaten to death or die of illness and cover it up by saying you're "tough on crime". Tough on crime? So is a Taser, but I won't vote for one for sheriff.
We can't have it both ways folks. Let "criminals" take a beating in jail? OK, that's the American way. But . . . what if your otherwise squeaky clean loved one happens to be doing his/her 24 hours in the tents for that DUI they got on the way home from Bingo? Do you want America's toughest politician to issue them pink skivvies and then look the other way while these non-criminals get the "Full Monty" too. Or on second thought would you like them kept safe for 24 hours so they can return to the fold after their field trip?
To hear Joe's media machine tell it Joe is a higher priority target than James Bond. Oddly enough we can recall no media stories (planted or otherwise) about threats on the lives of such major league law enforcers as Chief William Bratton in Los Angeles or Commissioner Ray Kelly of New York City. But for some reason, the Sheriff of Gila Bend has reportedly had more “contracts” (real or imagined?) taken out on him than a KGB defector. Are Arizona people just that much meaner than those in Los Angeles or New York or Moscow? Perhaps this mystery is one for the Easter Bunny.
Here's a question for Jeopardy contestants; How many unsolved homicides are on the books in the Sheriff’s actual jurisdiction? How many of those murders remain unsolved, while America's toughest show boat spikes the ball in the "end zone" on local TV, each time his deputies follow orders to conduct the perfunctory annual prostitute round up, or shoo non-violent Mexican nationals off the street corners as they conspire to get a back breaking day job for half of a U.S. citizen's minimum wage?
Landscapers don't shoot cops, Joe, but real criminals of all nationalities do. Joe if you really care, then assign your "immigration squad" to the many area task forces that target violent, previously deported, criminal aliens who have returned over the border to hurt us and commit actual crime.
Joe, you simply can’t succeed forever in looking good with smoke and mirrors. Eventually the wind blows away the smoke and the mirrors crack. Eventually is now Joe.
Sadly, you probably won’t lose your job until called to the Big Tent City in the sky. Nobody of substantial character or true qualification seems to want it. Joe, you don’t get re-elected over and over because of pastel underwear or because of your planted “look at me” news stories. You get re-elected because there is nobody interested in running for the job that would be any better than you are.
Joe, ever wonder why no "top of the line" people want your job as America's toughest carnival barker? Is it because of your unprecedented vindictiveness? At least partly, of course. Those in the business know about the county resources you use to dig up dirt (real or invented) on any and all opponents. Do you really conduct illegal wire taps if a foe looks promising in the polls?
Maybe its not you that's the bad guy Joe. Some of your long time adjutants know they would be in the unemployment line, indicted or served with a mountain of lawsuits, within 30 minutes of your leaving office. Perhaps you are just a loud mouthed puppet reading from a script they prepare while they run around like amoeba whose only purpose in life is to exist one more day. Who’s to say? Jobs are hard to come by right now and everybody knows if they ever exercise their 1st amendment rights while in your employ the outcome will be a train wreck for them and for their lives.
Maybe no one credible runs against you for sheriff because they don’t want to clean up your mess for the small salary you receive. Is it true that you receive the basic state salary that a sheriff with your seniority would receive in the most rural and sparsely inhabited county of the state? Is it true that the county government could supplement your state mandated salary but won’t because they keep hoping you’ll go for a walk and forget how to get back home? OK. No one qualified wants to clean up your mess for minimum wage to boot. Now that makes sense.
Your age is not an issue. Most people who really know what a professional law enforcement executive is supposed to look like do not consider your age a factor at all. Most of them know you were a hard headed, narrow minded, bully long before you qualified for social security.
But, you do have the citizens of Sun City in your corner of the voting booth. They are convinced that since you are one of them they should trust you. Don’t forget when they were younger and deeply involved in public affairs, the expectations of a sheriff were much less than today. So, congratulations . . . you get an A for doing C- work because of your age and not in spite of it. Maybe that's it!! You are in office because of reverse age discrimination! Well, it has been suggested that the election be held in July, when the snowbirds are in Minnesota just to see how many votes you could get then?
Let's be honest here Joe. Heck, you’re not tough on crime you’re just tough on the helpless. Anybody can humiliate a captive, anybody can stake out the moral high ground and say they represent helpless animals, anybody can exacerbate racism and fear by swearing to stop the Mongol horde from south of the border. Oh, don't forget the guy with tuberculosis you locked in a room. BUT . . . do any of those things make us safer day to day?
No Joe, they do not. Why? Well because your snake oil spouting does not secure the borders, your humiliation of uneducated prisoners does not rehabilitate or educate them to another life style, your arrest of honest cops who made a mistake after working 48 hours straight does not make a single animal safer. Even the guy with TB left the building.
Maybe no one credible runs against you for sheriff because they don’t want to clean up your mess for the small salary you receive. Is it true that you receive the basic state salary that a sheriff with your seniority would receive in the most rural and sparsely inhabited county of the state? Is it true that the county government could supplement your state mandated salary but won’t because they keep hoping you’ll go for a walk and forget how to get back home? OK. No one qualified wants to clean up your mess for minimum wage to boot. Now that makes sense.
Your age is not an issue. Most people who really know what a professional law enforcement executive is supposed to look like do not consider your age a factor at all. Most of them know you were a hard headed, narrow minded, bully long before you qualified for social security.
But, you do have the citizens of Sun City in your corner of the voting booth. They are convinced that since you are one of them they should trust you. Don’t forget when they were younger and deeply involved in public affairs, the expectations of a sheriff were much less than today. So, congratulations . . . you get an A for doing C- work because of your age and not in spite of it. Maybe that's it!! You are in office because of reverse age discrimination! Well, it has been suggested that the election be held in July, when the snowbirds are in Minnesota just to see how many votes you could get then?
Let's be honest here Joe. Heck, you’re not tough on crime you’re just tough on the helpless. Anybody can humiliate a captive, anybody can stake out the moral high ground and say they represent helpless animals, anybody can exacerbate racism and fear by swearing to stop the Mongol horde from south of the border. Oh, don't forget the guy with tuberculosis you locked in a room. BUT . . . do any of those things make us safer day to day?
No Joe, they do not. Why? Well because your snake oil spouting does not secure the borders, your humiliation of uneducated prisoners does not rehabilitate or educate them to another life style, your arrest of honest cops who made a mistake after working 48 hours straight does not make a single animal safer. Even the guy with TB left the building.
If you really think you are on to something then do your job, with all of your off the wall priorities WITHOUT MEDIA RELEASES!!! If what you do makes a difference then the difference should be noticed without your ballyhooing and trumpet blowing. You can’t do that can you? Why? Because you know that none of your theatrics makes a single bit of difference. You’re just another politician who wants to be worshipped and fears we'll catch on that you don’t deserve it.
You make mistakes too Joe. Only one human being was ever known to have been perfect. He was crucified, but thankfully lives on to do good now and forever.
No Joe, not you. You’re not perfect and except in your own mind you are rarely crucified. Your media squad is too good and the public too ill informed. Maybe you should assign your media spinners to some of those unsolved homicides. They could spin it to appear that not solving murders is a good thing. Or perhaps murdering those poor souls and escaping undetected was just part of a plot to make you look bad!!
YOU make make you look bad Joe. You make a LOT of mistakes and then draw a crowd to make them public mistakes. You were not chastised publicly by the Chiefs of Police throughout Arizona because they envied your good looks or your secret recipe to crime fighting. The trigger for their anger was just the most recent of a million last straws. You are not the duly elected Sheriff of the United States. Through your abuse of power and insatiable appetite for attention you have become an embarrassment to your own rank and file in addition to all of the other devoted law enforcement officers in Arizona.
Is it true that since the police chiefs called your baby ugly (or actually just you) about your immigration show and your headline seeking treatment of a police officer charged with a misdemeanor, it has become harder and now takes longer for the real police to book prisoners into your jail? If so that is a gross abuse of authority and harms the public. If you claim not to know this is ongoing then you are incompetent and ill informed. Which is it?
You make mistakes too Joe. Only one human being was ever known to have been perfect. He was crucified, but thankfully lives on to do good now and forever.
No Joe, not you. You’re not perfect and except in your own mind you are rarely crucified. Your media squad is too good and the public too ill informed. Maybe you should assign your media spinners to some of those unsolved homicides. They could spin it to appear that not solving murders is a good thing. Or perhaps murdering those poor souls and escaping undetected was just part of a plot to make you look bad!!
YOU make make you look bad Joe. You make a LOT of mistakes and then draw a crowd to make them public mistakes. You were not chastised publicly by the Chiefs of Police throughout Arizona because they envied your good looks or your secret recipe to crime fighting. The trigger for their anger was just the most recent of a million last straws. You are not the duly elected Sheriff of the United States. Through your abuse of power and insatiable appetite for attention you have become an embarrassment to your own rank and file in addition to all of the other devoted law enforcement officers in Arizona.
Is it true that since the police chiefs called your baby ugly (or actually just you) about your immigration show and your headline seeking treatment of a police officer charged with a misdemeanor, it has become harder and now takes longer for the real police to book prisoners into your jail? If so that is a gross abuse of authority and harms the public. If you claim not to know this is ongoing then you are incompetent and ill informed. Which is it?
And, Oh man, your personal fight with the New Times!! We hope you didn't pay for the advice that got you (and Maricopa county's insurers) into that Hornet's nest. You certainly know how to take a bad field position and turn it into a terrible field position. Too bad you're not an attorney. Then the bar association could investigate you and then you could investigate them for investigating you.
Joe the New Times was wrong to make it easier than it already is to get your home address. But give us a break. Your skirting the of the U.S. Constitution to get revenge would be the political end of you if you were a national figure of prominence!! This will be hard to hear but your house address is not covered by the Patriot Act. Grow up. The county attorney, with children at home and no protective detail or personal SWAT team has a much larger beef against the media for pointing to his home address than you ever had.
But with so many people allegedly out to get you one must to admit, the leak of your address resulted in zip actually coming from it in the real world. Maybe the county attorney should move into your house. Frankly, it's apparently quite safe there.
Perhaps your opponents could raise money for their run to unseat you by selling programs explaining who the players are in your many, varied and usually unnecessary public spats. Ingenious!!
We don’t hate you Joe. You have given much to your country in your career. We respect that. Beating you up is no fun. It’s like forcing incarcerated people with no civil rights to wear humiliating clothes, eat bad food, and live in tents during the Sonoran summer. It’s just too easy and at the end of the day nobody is better off.
We don’t want you to go away. Well . . . not "away" away . . . but that's up to the courts. We just want a competent and qualified person to run for sheriff. Your going away could then be decided by the electorate. Admittedly, an angry ex-Mesa cop turned west valley police chief is not going to beat you at the polls. He is not any more competent or qualified than you are. But, he is another one of your victims.
C'mon Joe, why not just try do better? How about this? Stop intimidating and bullying your adjutants and daring them to disagree with you!! Let them speak freely. Many of them are highly skilled professionals, who disagree with you and they are right to do so. But they are afraid of you and of having to work alone on horse patrol, during the midnight shift in "no man's land", so they remain mute.
But, nothing lasts forever. So, perhaps instead of you they should also be afraid of history. Rarely have the henchmen of dictators been spared because they were “just following orders”.
We don’t hate you Joe. You have given much to your country in your career. We respect that. Beating you up is no fun. It’s like forcing incarcerated people with no civil rights to wear humiliating clothes, eat bad food, and live in tents during the Sonoran summer. It’s just too easy and at the end of the day nobody is better off.
We don’t want you to go away. Well . . . not "away" away . . . but that's up to the courts. We just want a competent and qualified person to run for sheriff. Your going away could then be decided by the electorate. Admittedly, an angry ex-Mesa cop turned west valley police chief is not going to beat you at the polls. He is not any more competent or qualified than you are. But, he is another one of your victims.
C'mon Joe, why not just try do better? How about this? Stop intimidating and bullying your adjutants and daring them to disagree with you!! Let them speak freely. Many of them are highly skilled professionals, who disagree with you and they are right to do so. But they are afraid of you and of having to work alone on horse patrol, during the midnight shift in "no man's land", so they remain mute.
But, nothing lasts forever. So, perhaps instead of you they should also be afraid of history. Rarely have the henchmen of dictators been spared because they were “just following orders”.
